The Last Letter

Tonight I sat down to write Trace back. 

Then I fell asleep for almost two hours instead. I told my mom it's so hard to find motivation to write him when I could just say it to his face in 3 1/2 weeks! So she told me to let him sweat a little. And that is my plan. Sure I'll shoot him an email on p-day. but I'm so done writing letters. 

I've had this plan for about a year, thanks to a good friend's husband who showed me this scripture. This is all I sent...

 It's more fun if you look it up... I'm not gonna tell you what it says. 

 This is monumental. so we took pictures. I know it's gay. but maybe I'll be grateful one day. 

(and then while I'm away... I'll write home every day! and I'll send all my lovin... to you.)
We love the Beatles.

Here's to a crazy 25 days! 

Fantasy.

Last night I dreamt about the night we pick him up.

it was weird. 




On the plus side, his birthday present is going to be the BEST thing in the world. Now his grandparents are in on it and I'm just thrilled. I almost wrote all about it, then realized there's a good chance he'll read this! Close one! 


I'm in the fetching twenties. 29 days. Thats real life for ya. 

It's not all the time you find all this neatness in one location. And that, is nature. 

For those of you who have no idea what I was just quoting... just laugh for a minute...

Are you gettin excited?

People keep asking me... are you getting excited for him to come home? and I reply politely, yes! it will be so fun. When in my head I'm saying, "duh! I've been excited since the day he left!"

Here's some thoughts I've been having. As exciting as it is, it's terrifying. I am terrified for that moment. Mostly because when I get nervous I start talking in a British accent. Awkard meets irony. There's a lot of pressure here, on both ends.

So here's what I've learned in the last 2 years.

• I am an independent person, believe it or not. I have learned to love my alone time. I crave it. 
• I figured out what it takes to be happy with life. 
• It takes faith.
• It takes prayer.
• It takes study
• It takes family.
• It's easy to receive guidance from the spirit. If you're trying. It won't be thrust upon you. It starts with a choice. 
• I don't need Trace to survive. If this blows up in my face, I know that I will be okay. stop rolling your eyes. I'm serious. I really know how to be happy all on my own, without depending on anyone.

With all that being said... 

    everyone keeps saying well it'll all work out how it's supposed to. 

                                I know that. 

However, I know that it is going to be easier to figure out "how it's supposed to" if I am living righteously. If I'm in tune, I'm gonna be a-okay. 

I'd like to publicly apologize to Mom for telling her I didn't want any more advice. Hers just happened to come after everyone who is trying to tell me how Trace is going to act... when they've never even met him. I was very frustrated. If you know me, and you know Trace, advice is welcome. If not, I will smile and nod and then disregard everything you say. And mother, I love your advice. And I love you. 

32 days.