Chapter 10: See ya in 2?

Eventually I got used to her being in Florida, we were in contact pretty much all the time and that meant lots of phone calls with Katelin telling me absolutely everything about everything and of course, more Skype dates. My day to leave for my mission was the 9^th of September and the day drew nigh. Even up until the day I left she was my support. The night before I left on my mission, we had a final phone call. It wasn’t a Skype date because I don’t think I could have handled that. It was a pretty good call, relatively normal, considering the circumstances. I don’t remember much of the conversation but I said goodbye to her and went to sleep. I believe the next morning I may have sent her a text message or two but after that, I turned off my phone and I was on my way to the airport. I did surprisingly well for the coming days. I powered through the homesickness I felt and I moved on past the first bit of my missionary service with Katelin behind me the whole way.

This is our history as I can remember up to now. Excuse me if I have left out any significant details or events. As you can see, this woman had an extremely profound affect on me. Even to this day, I communicate with her often and think about her daily. Even to this day, I still look up to her example. The first time I met Katelin I had no idea it would turn into such a life changing relationship, but here I am now, looking back, and I stand in amazement and gratitude for what she has done for me. She pulled me out of the darkest hole I’ve ever found myself in  and has shown me the way towards the light of the gospel. She has been the one I can always rely on, always confide in, and one who will always make me smile. I thank my father in heaven for loving me enough to send Katelin Joan Cook into my life. I hope that by my actions, I have shown her that I do love her for who she is. And to Katelin, I would say, thank you and I love you. 

So! it's over. That was a trip right?! Well, I love this kid. I love him a lot. We've both changed a LOT in the last 16 months, but every guy I go out with still leaves me wanting that 6'5'' dream I used to date... Anyway. Now I can go back to blogging about myself... and you can all stop reading it! Haha. Anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. 

Chapter 9: Hello and Goodbye

I was going to stay in Nebraska until the end of July, but Katelin was due to leave to Florida for work on the 17^th of August. So, that would have left us only a little over two weeks together. I got my ticket home for the 3^rd of July and set off for Omaha from Lincoln early in the morning. I took an extremely large amount of time that morning getting ready because I was seeing my long lost love again. I had butterflies in my stomach from the time I woke up that morning and the feeling only got worse when I landed in Salt Lake City after a short plane journey. By the time I was leaving the terminal down to baggage claim, my heart was racing. I was trying to play it cool, but I was freaking out on the inside. Knowing Katelin, it was probably worse for her. She had probably been at the airport since I left Nebraska. Nevertheless, she was waiting just outside in her father’s pathfinder. I walked out the doors and saw her a ways off. She immediately jumped out of the car, ran around the side and, on her tippy toes as she always did, kissed me and gave me the best hug I had in a long time. It was hard to find the words to say to her. I just loved her so much, it didn’t help that she looked absolutely stunning as well.  I could tell you what she was wearing but I don’t want to seem too girly. We finally got my bags into the car and driving way, just like Katelin would later explain, it was like I never left.

Sugarhouse Park for fireworks!

From the airport we went straight to Sugarhouse Park for a fireworks celebration. We met my family and my grandparents and aunt at the park. It was one of best nights of my life.  It was a proper 4^th of July festival. It was so good to be in the warm night sitting on a blanket on the grass with all of my loved ones around, I had missed them all so much. Katelin was part of the family by this point in our relationship. She always fit in quite nicely. The fireworks show was great but not nearly as great as being with Katelin again. We drove home together as well. Ha, I mean I drove her car home with her because there was so much traffic, we parked in the car park of Shopko and it took us ages to get out of it.

He may have said I looked stunning... but he didn't mention the mustache. Quick shout out to Desi... a little waxing gone wrong left me with a scab on my lip. Yeah... welcome home dear. I have a stache. 

Life went pretty much back to normal after I came home. I didn’t have school or work for a few weeks so I was really available for Katelin. I missed summers with Katelin. So it was excellent to be back again. I think I needed to have her absent to appreciate her even more because I wanted to be with her 24 hours a day. This was the summer that mike came home from his mission. Katelin and I weren’t dating when he left so I think it took a little bit of getting used to for him. It was good to have him back though. I got to spend quite a bit of time with her family as well that summer. Her family is so fun to be around, just because they are all the nicest people in the world. I had the chance to go boating to Utah Lake and learn how to water-ski, quite the triumph, I know.

Flattering boating picture. 

Layin on the trampoline watching Dad do fireworks. 

Feeding the duckies. 

I really loved that summer. Katelin and I were really at a high point together. We had been through so many things together and we were still on top. I love Katelin for how loyal she is. It sounds funny coming from the man’s perspective but she always made me feel so special. I always knew that she loved me and I always came first and I really noticed it that summer. It slowly winded down and Katelin was due to leave for work in Disney World in the middle of August. We spent one of our last nights together driving out to the desert making a campfire and looking at he stars. I enjoyed myself that evening, but I knew it was almost time to say goodbye. Our final night came and Katelin went home a bit earlier that evening to get some rest for her trip to Florida.  (The tears must have fogged his memory... I had a redeye flight, that's what I left for. Poor kid. haha) I walked her out to her car, kissed her goodbye for the final time and then sent her on her way. I immediately walked into the study in the dark and I absolutely lost it. I cried for close to a solid hour. Even Whitney was trying to calm me down but I was inconsolable. It was so hard having someone I loved and someone who was such a huge part of my life just leaving and knowing I would see her for two years. She meant everything to me, she still does, she had truly changed my life. In all honesty, I don’t’ think I could have made it though the years previous without her. 

Trip to Park City

Alpine Slidin

My surprise birthday/goodbye party. He is sporting his favorite shirt that I BOUGHT HIM, that my current teddy bear also sports. awww. 

missionary pictures :)

and our last picture together. Thanks squints. 

Chapter 8: Springtime and some more long distance

The New Year came and went, let the record show, I do remember what we did on new years eve. We spent it at Emelia’s. We did make some resolutions together that I wish not to discuss, but only lasted a couple weeks. It was just impossible I suppose.

New Years @ Millie's

February rolled around again and we were almost to a year. February was also the time when we were able to use the tickets I bought her for Christmas. We went to a dance performance done to the Beatles songs so it wasn’t completely boring. In fact, I enjoyed it! It was good to spend a night with her doing something that I knew she loved. We also took a trip to Idaho that month. This turned out to be an interesting experience. We left just a day or two before Valentines Day and drove ourselves up to her grandmother’s house. If I remember correctly it was about a 3-4 hour drive and it wasn’t pretty. I don’t’ know how Idaho looks in the summer time but I was pretty drab in the middle of February. It was funny meeting relatived of Katelin, but I think they enjoyed me enough. We drove up in the morning and arrived at Grandma’s in the early afternoon. We spent the rest of the afternoon driving around town with various Aunts and Uncles of hers, visiting the temple and the falls and cleaning her grandmother’s new house. The evening was the best part. We had baked potatoes for dinner. Ha… figures. It was a comical situation because I got halfway through the potato and then realized, “oh my goodness, I’m in Idaho eating a baked potato!” We also played some games with the family and then we watched The Pursuit of Happyness with Grandma.

Shoshone Falls in Idaho :)

The next morning we woke up and drove home while her family was at church. The drive home wasn’t all that fun because I didn’t sleep very well on the couch I picked out for myself. It didn’t help that we made a wrong turn and added two hours to our trip going through Pocatello or something like that. Let the record show that Katelin was driving when we turned the wrong way. But, I was busy playing Super Smash Brothers. The drive wasn’t all that bad because I got to spend most of the time talking with Katelin, she even let me control the music on the majority of the ride. We were driving home on Valentine’s Day. How cute is that?

On February 27, 2010 we had our 1-year anniversary. If I’m being honest, I can’t remember too much about what we did that day, but I do think we ended up on the roof again commemorating the event. I couldn’t believe it had already been a year. The time had flown. By this point she was such an integral part of my life, I just don’t know what I would do without her. I remember opening up to her quite a bit that evening. I told her how much she meant to me and even relayed much of what is contained in the first few pages of this history. A long time has passed since that first year, but here’s to many more to come.

Psh! I remember! We went the the Planetarium and saw a 3D Under the Sea movie, then we went to Temple Square. Then we went to Jamba Juice, then we got a redbox, then we sat on the roof for a minute but it was FREEZING. Then we watched a movie with Jake and his girlfriend. Bam. Memory. 

March and April of that year were quite eventful. We were spending quite a bit of time at my cousin Brenan’s home with his girlfriend, going on double dates and what not. In April I started to prepare to go to work out in Nebraska for the summer. April was also when I received my mission call to serve in the England Manchester mission. I received the call on a Wednesday. I came home from work to find a big white envelope addressed to me waiting on the kitchen table. I was alone but within ten minutes Katelin was there. The whole family came shortly after and I was able to open the call, finally. Everyone was being really dramatic about it, I suppose I had come a long way.

So this is the day he got his call. Except I'm PRETTY DANG SURE that he picked me up that day... we pulled up and got it out of the mailbox, together. Then we waiting for his family to get home, together. His memory is foggy. SO foggy. 

The excitement of the call was a bit spoiled by the fact that I left to Nebraska a week later. It wasn’t easy and I didn’t want to leave Katelin. But, it was good practice for when we would part again for 2 years. Nebraska was an extremely eye opening time for me. But, I loved it. Extremely hard work, but I am a better person because of it. (I was selling satellite TV door to door, I forgot to mention that.) We would also Skype each other quite often during the evenings and this would later be known as the “Skype date”. The Skype date consisted of a few things. She would lie in her bed with her computer facing her and we would talk, as I was getting ready for bed or doing other things. She would wait patiently for me until I would lie down as well and then we would talk until we were too tired and would have to say goodbye or we would just fall asleep with the computer still on. I was only in Nebraska for 2 months but I missed her like heck. I was still very much in love with her and wanted to do anything to hold her every night like I could back at home. I did make it back home and this takes us to a reunion in the beginning of July. 

He forgot to mention our trip to Mesquite with his family. It was really fun. 

Chapter 7: Provo Winters

There were a few ups and downs over those winter months. It proved to be a trying time. However, there were a few good memories. One in particular was when I got my appendix taken out. Ocean Floor Traffic played a show in early September and as usual, Katelin was there. The show went well but all day I was feeling a bit ill. The feeling continued after the show and even until Katelin and I were hanging out that night. At about 11:45, I couldn't handle the pain in my stomach anymore so I convinced her to let me take her home. She reluctantly agreed. I felt a little bad because she had spent the whole night worrying and trying to care for me. I went home after dropping her off and got my mom to take me to the hospital. To make a long story short, I got my appendix taken out somewhere around 5:00-6:00 AM. It all went well, seeing as I'm writing this now. As soon as I woke up again, of course, there she was, waiting patiently with my mother and sister. Ha. the three women in my life all surrounding me as I sat naked in a hospital gown. I was a little out of it. So I'm sure they all saw my bum at least once. I finally made it home safely and I spent the next week in bed. She would visit me often, bringing me whatever my heart desired. Such a caring soul. She was patient with me as well, letting me take my time and not snuggling too much if it hurt.

I learned a lot about Katelin during this time. We had been dating for a little while, but I came to know her more and more with the passing time. One instance in particular taught me how sensitive she is. I ended up playing a show with the Dream Team with a couple of very good friends. Us being the pompous rock stars that we were, we never watched the other bands, but chose to sit outside instead. It was the band plus Katelin. The friends I had like to smoke, so that's what they spent their free time doing. Here we were out back of this sketchy venue with my incredible girlfriend and my hellion friends just sat there cursing and smoking. It was normal to me, so I didn't think much of it, but apparently it was too much for Katelin. We drove home separately that night and I got word that she ended up crying because of what she had gone seen. I felt awful. I dropped Chub off at his house, and made Jake sit in the car while I went outside and called her. She was doing a little bit better, but I had some sincere apologizing to do. I remember it was raining outside in Daybreak where I was and I was chatting with her on a dark neighborhood street. I had a pit in my stomach. This taught me that I need to do everything I can to protect her. I'm not sure what she would say, but hopefully I was a bit more caring after that.

November was a good month for us. November was when Katelin and I performed on stage together for the first time. Somewhere around September, my friend Jared and I got the grand idea of playing in the high school battle of the bands, so we got to work. What we ended up with was a 10-piece hip hop group called Johnny, The Miracle with Katelin singing the chick vocals. It was quite the experience but one of the funnest times of my life. We practiced often and it was hard trying to coordinate with 9 other people; but Kate turned into quite the band mate, present at every practice she could, and she always gave it her all. I felt like her and I were running a giant family. The practices started to go really well and before long it was time for the performance.

The day came very quickly but the anticipation was killing me. That day before the show that night seemed to last forever. Finally, we all arrived at Alta High School and loaded our gear backstage. We weren't on for a little while so we watched some bands together and then a couple minutes before we were due onstage we all went backstage for a little warm up. I remember all ten of us were huddled in a circle backstage and everyone gave their last words... it was incredible and it was also incredible to have Katelin right by my side through the whole process. Then Jared began to sing his opening guitar part, Katelin joined in with her opening lines and then the next thing I knew everyone was joining in. Adam was singing his bass part, Sam was beat boxing his drums and Mason was doing his keys part and then Even threw down his verse and we continued around the circle until we had performed the whole song. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I know everyone else did. I loved looking at Katelin and seeing how much she was loving it.

The actual performance went extremely well. We had so much energy and excitement and the crowd loved us. I felt that everyone gave it 100%. I knew Katelin was quite the performer, but she impressed me that night. As far as I know, it was the first time she had ever performed vocals for a hip hop group... but she performed like she had done it a million times. We didn't win that night, but we definitely should have! We made up later with the after party though!

That's the infamous "Jared" in the middle :)

We were kind of unorganized....

We spent the rest of the evening together. I always get such a rush and such a high after playing shows and it was awesome to spend that time after the show with Katelin. We stopped by her house on the way to mine and watched a clip of our performance that her family had taken. Then we went over to my house. I think the Cook clan assumed I was taking her straight back to provo, sorry again Roger and Monica. We went back to my house to relax for a bit. I can't remember when i took her home, but it was definitely late... let the record show, we made it safely!

This is one of the many late night drives I would take down to Provo and back. Over that semester and winter semester as well, I would drive down to Provo 3-4 times a week. I would always be down that way in the evening time and then stay into all hours of the night. I absolutely loved this time in our story. I would stay over late, kiss her goodbye, then get on the road and then text or chat on my drive home. I'm a man who really enjoys his sleep and these late night drives were definitely hindering the amount of it I got. But, Katelin is worth it, I assure you. I remember always being deep in thought on these drives and i always pondered about how I will always remember those dark, cold drives from Provo to Draper and the feeling that I always left Katelin's with. I would think about this or just scream Beatles songs into the night. Or both...

My cute apartment that I miss soooo much!

Date night!! We called it "Christmas in B31"

I believe this leads us to Christmas break. Christmas break meant Katelin was back in Sandy for a few weeks. We inaugurated Christmas break with another movie marathon at Cyndi's. This time it was time for six star wars movies. It was crazy that only a year had passed since the Lord of the Rings marathon. At that one, we were only thinking of being together and now our relationship was in full swing. The day started very early with breakfast at McDonald's, of course.

And then we spent the next 18 hours snuggling. Heaven for Katelin, I'm sure.

matching shirts and light sabers please. 

I think this was after the 5th movie... we were 100% delirious.

Christmas break turned out to be a little difficult for us. My father's family was in town and it was busy at Katelin's. So it was very troublesome trying to have some alone time. We did find some ways though. One night we had been together all day and not been left alone once. We finally gave up and I was driving Katelin back home when we passed Draper Park. Acting out of impulse, I turned the car into the car park there. At the Draper Park, in the middle of this field there was this giant tree. It was been decorated with Christmas lights and cast light outwards, illuminating a circle in the show. We got out of the car and raced through the snow to the under the tree in this light. Katelin had on just sip on shoes and her feet must have been freezing. We stayed quiet for a few moment looking up... then of course we threw some snow at each other. I remember reflecting on our history up to that point and realizing even more how much she meant to me. It really is hard to put it in words. Her face was all lit up by the white lights. Being with her that night, being lighthearted with her, that was the epitome of my first Christmas with Katelin.

One fun thing we got to do during our crazy Christmas break, a sleigh ride up to a cabin for dinner with his extended family! I was sick as a dog, but still had fun. I just LOVE the Rodgersons!!!

This kid a pro ice skater. It's weird really...

We did have quite the gift exchange that Christmas. We decided to get away for just one night to exchange presents. Katelin's apartment in Provo was empty due to all her roommates going home for the holidays. So we went there to spend the evening. We baked sugar cookies and watched Elf. But, my favorite part was the things we got each other. i had bought Katelin tickets to see this dance show sometime in February and then realized last minute that they didn't look very good on their own. I bought a frame from Ikea, I think Katelin was with me when I bought it... then I sketched a picture of some pointe shoes and slapped it in the frame with the two tickets. It looked magnificent. Her present to me was way better though. Katelin went all out. She was very missionary minded at this point so she got me some books that would help me prepare for my mission, but she also got me a Nintendo 64. How great is that?! I still think she regrets this purchase, but I think it was my favorite Christmas present I've ever received. The night turned out to be terrific, we packed up our things and for the first time in a long time, we drove home from Provo together.

Yes, these adorn my wall. This seriously took him like 20 minutes. If even. Talented little punk. 

Chapter 6: College Time.

Patience Readers... Working full time + School full time = NO TIME LEFT OVER!

The summer continued and we grew closer and closer together. We were together as much as possible. However, there was something looming overhead. At the end of that summer, Katelin was to move to Provo for school and in my eyes, I thought this meant we would be over. I remember doing the math in my head seeing we would be together about six months in total. That was impressive in my mind. Little did I understand we would continue for years past that. It became a little bit of a miscommunication between us. Our six-month anniversary was fast approaching and we were both talking like we were going to break up once she moved. It was a silly though really as we were doing really well, still in love. 

Then it was August the 27^th, our six-month anniversary. We spent the evening on the roof again. It was an emotional experience; What he means is... I just sat. And bawled the most unattractive breakdown ever. ha. I think I may have even cried. I told Katelin a lot of things she didn’t know about how I felt about her. I pretty much explained a lot of what I have already written here. I told her of how much of an example she is to me and how much I love her. We only kissed once or twice, mostly we just sat. For a long time. Looking out over the lighted valley at night. Then we climbed back down and said goodbye. I though it was over. I went into my bedroom and did what I always do when things are tough for me. I lay in the dark on my shag rug and cry. I can’t remember too well her birthday the next day or what date exactly she moved away but, it was rough. I do remember, however, the first visit I paid her in Provo. 

I was working for Simply Mac at the time and I had to run to the store in Orem to finish off my day. So, I thought I would swing by and visit. I pricked her up and we went to McDonalds, typical Trace and Katelin. We went back to her apartment and met her roommates. We sat on the floor and ate. It was the most awkward 15 minutes of my life. UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY. I have literally never felt more awkward. No one knew what was going on. Katelin will tell you that she thought we were still together, but I’m pretty sure we were not together. The awkward part was that neither of us really knew why we were separated. I left shortly after that and soon after that we had a good chat about us. I can’t remember when we spoke but the verdict was, we were still together. I was happy with that. It was such a huge relief. It was like starting over… again. Interesting. For the record, I came home that weekend for the neighborhood summer party. I brought Trace, and when his friends would call him, he'd say, "I'm with Katelin," and they'd say, "You got back together?" I think I hit him the second time and said DUDE! then we talked and realized... why the heck wouldn't we be together? 

Then school started and the pressure was back on. School and work and a relationship proved to be a little much for both of us. We weren’t used to the university life and we weren’t used to being that far apart. It was hard but we pushed through the adversity. Because it was hard to see her now, every time I did, it was even more of a treat. We really had to rely on each other as much as we could. I needed her and I think she needed me. Some of my favorite memoreies were when I would take the day off of work on a day when I didn’t have class and I would drive down to Provo to surprise her. Just to relieve some of her burden, and mine as well. OKAY! This happened ONCE! But, I gave him so much praise for it, he must have thought it was multiple times. I was having a breakdown cuz school was too hard. I was sobbing and texting him. I heard the door open and Jelina say, "Oh. Hi!" I opened my bedroom door to see the cutest kid with open arms. (Cue the Journey song....) Anyway, he was wearing his green zip up hoodie. I remember. It was the greatest day. He helped me catch up on homework, walked to campus to turn in papers, and just made sure I didn't cry anymore. But, again... one time. Katelin would come visit me often as well, finding any way she could to come up to Draper. We would spend hours together and then I would drive her home in the middle of the night sometime. Something that had been on my mind for a long time marrying Katelin; apparently she had been pondering the same and it was one of these drives where we both became aware of what the other was thinking.

I can’t remember how the conversation started, but we both admitted that wanted to marry the other at about the same time. The admittance came in the AM hours, just as I was pulling onto her street. I kept driving past her apartment for this was something we needed to talk about! Neither of us believed the other was being serious. It was so funny. Then Katelin started to believe me. She did her super excited giggle and squirmed in her seat, squeezing my hand tighter. It became a pretty normal topic of discussion after that. I seriously thought... there's no way this kid would put up with me for eternity. No way. But, he convinced me that he was serious. He's crazy. 

This is the day he drove me to Provo. He forgot to mention that he's the one that actually moved me down there, cuz his cousin had to go on the same day. HA! Oh heavens, he didn't talk about the necklace... here we go.
So the pick necklace. Trace wore that all. the time. It's the pick from his first show, and the pick from his favorite show. He never took it off, except a couple times. He couldn't wear it during shows cuz he'd go too wacko and break it, so one show he put it on me, I forgot to give it back, then I did. I would always play with it on his neck, I just loved it. On that fateful 6-Month anniversary, he gave me the sweetest letter about how much he'd loved the last 6 months, and in the envelope was the necklace. :) I don't wear it every day anymore, but I did. for like 2 years. I love it so much. 

This is one of the days I came home to go to lunch in Draper. :)

Date night in Provo!

Chapter 5: Summer of Love.

SAP WARNING! SAPPY SAPPY SAPPY! I can't believe this kid! I've tried thousands of times to get him to watch movies with me that aren't half and lovey dovey as this!!!

Another specific event of the early part of the year was our acceptance into BYU. Katelin was set on attending BYU and I wasn’t as convinced. I took absolute ages to apply but with her encouragement I was able to. I remember one instance in particular that I will treasure forever. I went to see my stake president for an ecclesiastical endorsement and Katelin drove me to the interview. The interview went really well… I passed, you could say. It was the best feeling to be worthy. I remember walking out of the stake center with my papers in hand, it was a clear night and it had become dark. Katelin was waiting outside for me in the parking lot. I remember looking at her smiling face, illuminated by the street lamp and feeling the most overwhelming feeling of gratitude. It was here that I gained an even deeper level of appreciation for her. I felt like I owed he so much. I wish I could explain the way I feel about her. I wish I could explain how I never want her to go away, how I want to just sit and talk to her forever. I wish there was a word for it, but I felt it that night.

Sorry for my lack of chronology the last few paragraphs, I will try to improve. This takes us into the closing months of high school. Katelin and I ended up spending a lot of time at my house and her family began to miss her and perhaps wonder whot his new boyfriend was. We didn’t spend too much time at ther house because, quite honestly, I was a bit intimidated. This is Roger Cook and 7 of the most righteous women I’ve ever met we’re talking about here. Needless to say, I got over my fear slowly. I began to really enjoy being at the Cook home and started to love being in their presence. But, Roger Cook was watching, always watching.

May-June 2009 was an excited time for me. Ocean Floor Traffic, the band of which I was a part of, had a battle of the bands to play. The day approached and Katelin, being the best girlfriend ever, was there. We played our set and it went really well, however, as the night wore on I began to feel a little ill. We sat and watched the remainder of the groups play from the balcony above the club. She gave me her stool and stood beside me as I leaned on the wall. She just sat and rubbed my back the whole time. Katelin is such a caring person, she shows love and concern for all those around her. This is one of the things that I admire most about her; her loving concern. The time came for the winner to be announced, so we went down to the floor and stood in the crowd. They announced that we took first place and I was thrilled, as was everyone else around. We were asked to come up on the stage, the band I mean, but I had to leave Katelin in the crowd. I remember looking down at her, still holding her hand while she was looking back at me with her soft smile. Amidst the cheering and people jumping around, I kissed her. It was the first time I kissed her in public and it felt good.

Senior Dinner Dance.

Graduation! Yeah!

Graduation came and went with all its festivities and we found ourselves in the summer before she would head off to university. ha. So British. The very beginning of that summer was an incredible time for me. I think our love was in full swing at this point and we were still crazy about each other. With the battle of the bands win came a bit of recording time. While I was doing that, Katelin decided to start having mono. This was a barrier I was determined to overcome. I would visit her at the beginning of her mono as much as I could. I was working and doing music things at the time. She spent most days inside at home so I would go over and sit with her and we would just talk. There wasn’t much else to do. I don’t even think we sat close. I’m not really sure how contagious the mono is, but I didn’t feel like risking it at the time. As time wore on I got close and closer to her… until one night I just kissed her. I was a bit freaked out that I was gonna get the mono so I was drinking vitamin c drinks like they were going out of style. I never got it though, and that’s how I beat the mono. I loved those days of just me and her relaxing together. I remember once we were sitting on a porch swing somewhere. I specifically remember that it was 11:45 in the evening. The air was warm, the night was quiet and you could even see the stars through the city lights. I held her on that swing as we talked about our relationship together and that moment became the epitome of that summer. What I wouldn’t give to go back and relive it again. It was going to be extremely late by the time 12:15 rolled around so I kissed her goodbye and walked down the path through the sprinklers to my car. I remember looking back at her and I could but tell her how beautiful she is, so I did!

Despite my mono, I did get to have some fun that summer...

Seven Peaks

Trace's Birthday Dinner

Boating for my birthday

Flour Fight. 

Chapter 4: Together at last.

Jump ahead a ways and we find ourselves in February, time for our first kiss. This is awkward... I had my opportunity earlier in the month that I should have pounced on. The situation goes like this. We ended up in the parking lot of Alta High School very late on a school night goofing off. I don’t remember the circumstances of why we were there, but we were. We were running around the parking lot acting like 12 year olds, but it was enjoyable. The time was drawing late and I believe even Roger Cook was ringing her. haha ringing her. he's so British. It was time to say goodbye. We hugged outside her car door and I held her for a moment, maintaining eye contact, and then I chickened out. I had kissed plenty of girls before this! Why was I so nervous about this one? I can’t put my thumb on it, but I think it may have to do with how she would always tell me about how perfect she wanted her first kiss to be, which had already been shattered by Brayden’s flop. I think this intimidated me. Regardless, It didn’t happen here and I was punching myself in the face for it.

I provided myself a second chance shortly thereafter. It was a weekend and she came over and we watched The Dark Knight together. It was getting late and also boring so I suggested that we climb to the roof. We did this promptly; took a blanket, snuck into the laundry room, and climbed up to the top of the house to enjoy the view. We spoke about a lot of things up there. it was right before Dance Company concert and all I could think was, ‘if she falls and breaks a leg, that’s gonna be trouble’. We were up there forever and I was still nervous! I was more nervous about this than anything else in my life! I play my guitar in front of hundreds of people, rap rhymes into microphones on stages, knock on doors selling satellite, speak to people on busses and trains and many other things, but kissing Katelin terrified me the most. We spoke for ages, we discussed her first kiss, my first kiss, I rapped the entire song “Shoes” and we talked about how freezing it was. But, I still wouldn’t kiss her. By this time, it was getting really late, Jake had showed up to my home and was reading in my bedroom, and my Aunt Emily was frantically scanning the house for me. Then it happened. The situation grew intense; I turned around and kissed her, just twice. Almost immediately, we climbed down and back into the laundry room. I think we both just busted up laughing after because we had made such a huge deal about it. And we both realized... phew! that wasn't so hard! We went straight from fireworks to my aunt yelling at me, and Jake badgering me. It was a truly memorable experience and that day, February the 27^th has come to be known as the beginning of Katelin and Trace.

I think this was the initiating experience to us becoming a couple. We were official after this. Kissing Katelin became less nerve racking for me and I started getting used to dating a girl who I was actually proud of. It was weird for me for the first little while when I began to become acquainted with her group of friends. It was awkward for quite some time but I got used to it. I think we spent most of March getting used to one another. It took some realization that we were, in fact, complete opposites and needed to adjust to the situation. I feel that we did it pretty well. The end of senior year became one of the greatest times of my life. Katelin and I were together… a lot.

Some of my most favorite memories with her were the times that we spent skipping class, hahahaha sorry parents. Skipping school usually meant McDonald’s breakfast and lounging around a park somewhere, sometimes it was going to her house and eating noodles or going to mine and watching SpongeBob. It didn’t really matter what we did as long as weren’t in school and we were together. I was so happy at this point. I loved being with her, I loved the feeling of sneaking around Draper during school with her, it was exciting and I became madly in love with her.

We had the opportunity to attend the Art History trip in San Francisco in April or May. This trip, over those few days taught me a lot. Things became very out in the open at this point that we were together and it weirded me out a bit. I had to get used to it. I had to get used to her holding only my hand everywhere we went, I still don’t think I’m accustomed to it, which I apologize for, sorry Katelin. But, San Francisco was incredible. I came to the realization here that Katelin and I were not just dating, but best friends. I would honestly talk to her about anything and everything. 

I don't remember what museum this was in front of...

Chapter 3: Winter of Senior Year

Continuing onto senior year!! I love this boy!

Before I continue, it might do me well to tell you my impressions of Katelin up to that point. I simply admired her. For so many reasons, but most of all, for her faith. She just did what was right. People always spoke of people having a light about them, having this Christlike countenance and I always thought it was ridiculous until I met Katelin. She definitely has it, still does. It was one of the many reasons I was attracted to her. She became quite the example in my eyes. I envied her strength.

That being said, she was very influential in my life at this time. I recall so many instances where I would be sitting in a dimly lit, smoke filled basement with sin all around me, with people when the spirit was far from and all I could think about was Katelin and her example. I didn’t dwell on how much I was letting my parents down or my father in heaven but I recognized that I was falling way short of the potential I had. I wanted to be better; I wanted to have the peace that I saw in Katelin. At this point, I felt that I couldn’t.

Time passed and it became wintertime of senior year. This time has been a blur in my mind for quite some time now but I will do my best to relate it. To be short, I was unhappy. Ellie and I broke up, my relationship with my mom was absolutely shattered and I had no testimony of Jesus Christ. I remember a particularly bad day sometime in February. I had spent the entire afternoon putting together music for “The Dream Team”. Dealing with Kory all day put me down and the invite to head over to Katelin’s house for Kung Fu Panda came as a huge relief. I went straight from Kory’s to Katelin’s house and immediately felt the change in atmosphere. It reminded me of where I was and what I wanted. During this movie was the first time that Katelin and I… cuddled; for lack of a better term. I remember just grabbing her hand and holding on tight. I wanted all of my frustration with life to go away, I wanted my relations with my family to return to normal, I wanted to be clean again, so I held on.

From this point we began to grow closer. Having her around more often gave me the strength to become what I wanted. I kicked some old habits and became, what Jared coined as, a cleanster. It was extremely fascinating how quickly I was able to turn my life around. I wasn’t there yet, but I was pointing in the right direction. Bishop Boshard became a huge part of this change as I had and incredible amount of repentance ahead of me. His inspired guidance and wisdom at this time is a huge part of my testimony of the truthfulness of this church. The repentance process gave me the insight into the atonement of Jesus Christ that I hold onto to this day.

One experience in particular that is ever so significant was one of my first meetings with Bishop Boshard. The interview was lengthy but necessary. He said, “Trace, I admire the desire you have to change your life around. However, I could sit here and tell you all day that the church is true and this is what your heavenly Father wants for you. But, you need to find out for yourself.” That night, I went home and got on my knees to pray. I prayed for many things but among them was that I needed something to tell me that what I was doing was right, something to give me the strength to continue. The answer came in this way… as soon as I said amen, my phone vibrated, it was a text message from Katelin. It was a scripture reference, 1 Timothy 2:3. It says, “For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior.” I couldn’t believe it. A scripture that is completely ambiguous to everything else except my situation. Sent to me the second I closed my prayer. I barely remember this, and I have no clue why I sent him that scripture... it meant nothing to me at the time. The spirit was truly guiding my actions. I believe I said another prayer of gratitude immediately after and replied back to that sweet girl who became the means whereby God answered my prayers. 

Things started to look better for me. It was around this time that Katelin told me how she was going to read her scriptures every day, no matter what. So, without saying anything, I joined along. I still carry this goal to this day. And there he goes one-upping me again! I'm trying... I swear. It was during those early time of reading the Book of Mormon that I began to regain my testimony. Through a lot of study and prayer, this is how I came to know the Book of Mormon is true. I apologize; I have delved into too many personal things. I want to backtrack to before February and into January. I forgot to mention Jacob Hall’s influence in the situation.

After I broke up and during my time with Ellie, Jake became a little bit of a crutch for me. His willingness to listen and support kept me sane through these times. Bless him. I really opened up to Jake about things and Katelin was one of them. We would talk about her for hours. Little did Trace know, I too used Jake as a crutch at this time. I would talk to him for hours about how badly I wanted to be with Trace. But neither of us would believe that the other one was actually interested. Oh poor Jacob. Bless his heart. She was just a friend during the winter of senior year, but I wanted her to be so much more. I just didn’t think it would happen. Jake urged me to do whatever I could to be together with her. I didn’t know how to go about it; it was frustrating. One time, in particular, I went to Katelin’s home to study for an art history test. She looked beautiful, as she always does and it was almost too much for me to handle. I wanted to kiss her, or hold onto her or something! But I didn’t have the guts. I just sat and dreamt about us being together. I remember driving home that night in the gold Mazda all alone, and I lost it. I was punching the steering wheel and yelling and then calling Jake and yelling as well. “I want to be with her so bad!” jakes reply was classic and one of the smartest utterances ever to proceed of the mouth of Desperado, “Then make it happen ya crazy.” Then came the experience that happened in Kun Fu Panda that was mentioned previously. Sorry, I backtracked but I had to mention this, as it was significant.

Next up... first kiss! But, I'm going out of town... patience!

Chapter 2 (Junior Year)

This one's a long one!! Here we go!

Anything typed like this is me interjecting... :) you're about to see into high school Katelin like you never have before! enjoy!

Between that spring until the beginning of junior year is a little bit of a mystery to me. I don’t recall too much interaction between us that summer. I do, however, remember the first day in Mrs. Beards US History class. It turns out that we were in the same class and Katelin still remembered me. She still made me nervous so I waited until she approached me, which she did immediately during a “get to know you” activity on the first day; I remember being absolutely terrified to talk to him. I was absolutely thrilled that she still knew me well enough to exchange a few words. This was what I like to call the second beginning.

I ended up sitting in the seat in front of her during Mrs. Beard’s class and as insignificant as it may seem, the excitement can only be described as, it felt like Christmas. I remember her constantly joking about anything and everything I am not funny... and our senses of humor are so different. I don't know how he thought I was funny. and I would use any excuse I could to turn around. I learned a lot about katelin and her personality in these times and she is still the same sweet, light-hearted woman today. We became pretty good classmates but nothing more until Cyndi and Brayden I mean. This year in school was when Brayden and I rekindled our friendship from; yes you guessed it, third grade. So, naturally, the invite came to join them. I remember Katelin invited me to one of their get togethers and this is when I made the sly move of getting her phone number. In class we had an ongoing joke about whose phone was more indestructible. So one day I explained to katelin that I was going to send her phone so many text messages that it was going to explode. She must have not believed me or something because she gave me her phone number. I’ll never forget it, 8-6-7-1-5-0-5. We were learning about the battle between Crazy Horse and Sitting Bull later in this class. We changed our names in each other's phones. I was Crazy Horse, he was Sitting Bull. We never changed them. Till he left for England!

As the time wore on, our relationship began to develop further and the lot of us became quite good friends. However, at this point, the opposite of what I wanted began to happen. I will explain how Brayden ended up with Katelin, and not me. I wanted her so bad, but perhaps I wasn’t making it manifest as I should have. I remember always paying special attention to her and always trying to be closest to her. Looking back now, I wish I would have made a move or something. No regrets! It all works out. I recall one experience where we all watched Hot Rod together and me sitting next to Katelin was my idea of “moving in for the kill”. Pitiful. There was NEVER any signals or signs sent. NO ONE had ANY CLUE he was interested! I swear!

Things grew progressively worse for me and increasingly better for Brayden. I had no idea at the time but I guess he just had more game than me… ha. hahahahahahaha I remember that final nail in the coffin as well. The sweethearts dance was coming up in February and Katelin asked Brayden and Cyndi asked me. This wasn’t the nail though. It was a nail for me! I wanted to go with him soooooo bad! Why do you think I told Cyndi to ask him? I loved being around him!! The night came along when I needed to answer Cyndi about the dance. So I got Katelin involved. I was all giddy because it meant that Katelin and I would be alone. I went to great lengths to make this happen and to be honest, I probably shouldn’t have gone out that night as the roads were quite icy and the snow was falling, but I went. I remember taking my mom’s car and still sliding as I turned onto 13^th east from highland drive. Scared me half to death. I picked up Katelin and went to the store and somehow Brayden managed to get wind of what we were up to and met us there. I was furious. Things were fine until we left Cyndi’s house and Brayden and Katelin sat in the backseat while I played chauffer. He is really making me sound like the bad guy. I remember Brayden asking me to sit in the back, and once again, no signs of interest from Mr. Trace. So I figured I was fine. Angry as I was, it quickly turned to heartache when I saw, in the rear view window, Katelin put her head on his shoulder. Pretty sure I was just terrified that we were all gonna die on these roads, so I was covering my face so I didn't have to watch. I was crushed and convinced myself that it was now hopeless. So, to an extent, I gave up on that dream. I decided to shift gears and just be a good friend to the both of them.

Just because those two ended up dating didn’t mean that Katelin and I didn’t become closer.  I often found myself playing mediator between the both of them. I remember several times talking to Katelin on the phone for a good half an hour to an hour discussing the two of them. I used ANY excuse to call him. Don’t think that I was trying to break the two of them up, in fact, I had moved on to chasing different women! I just found the two of them amusing and I still had a soft spot in my heart for Katelin. Katelin has asked me two or three times if I get jealous and I usually answer no. However, at this time, I may have been jealous… a tad bit. It used to get me every time. Brayden would say “Kate”. I think this is why I have always refrained from calling her this. That is just speculation however. He has called me Kate one time. That I can remember. Since I've met him. 

Alright... sorry everyone who I never told that I kissed a boy... whoops. I remember Katelin’s first kiss with Brayden. I won’t go into too much detail as I wasn’t present and Katelin may be upset at me. It happened during spring break of junior year, sometimes in March I believe. I was on holiday with my family in Mesquite and they both called me immediately after they separated that night. I took both their calls outside by the pool. They both had a different story to tell. But, I sat on a pool chair under the palm trees on that warm evening and wished it would have been me that kissed her. It was her first kiss and she would always tell me about how fantastic she wanted her first kiss to be. I think this is why I was so timid about doing it when I had the chance. It wasn't fantastic. For the record. I called Trace to complain, vent, and almost cry. 

As time wore on I grew further away from both Katelin and Brayden. I just stood on the sidelines you could say. I became very involved in Ocean Floor Traffic at this point and didn’t see much want in being a third wheel. Plus I had a quick little stint of dating a girl named Charlotte. The next main event was when Brayden and Katelin came to an end. Things had been a bit rocky for them as I can remember and Katelin called him up and called it off. I remember her ringing me immediately afterwards to talk about it. It was a show day for me so I was frantically running around making last minute preparations for the gig that evening. I wish I could have given the time and attention she deserved but I was driving and had the band mates crowded around. I remember the feeling I got when she told me. I was pulling onto 3^rd east from Willow Springs when she told me the news. I was definitely surprised. They both awkwardly came to the show that night.

The next chapter that unfolded in my life was a dark one. I need to take a break from writing for a few moments to gather my thoughts and remember the sequence of events. It was the very end of junior year and the beginning of summer before senior year that things starting to go south for me. That summer I had limited communication with Katelin but I always considered her a very good friend. It was around this time that I started dating Ellie, which is a whole other story in itself. For many months, I had been hanging around friends who were doing things they shouldn’t have been and for many months I convinced myself I was strong enough to resist their wicked ways. Turns out I was wrong and the temptation wore me down. I ended up in a bad place. It was definitely an extremely low point in my life.

Stay tuned... this is gonna be good.